Nighclubs in St Helier are typical of small towns in the UK playing a 'conservative' mix of chart music and awful mixes of songs that were no good in the first place. You gotta be drunk, young or both!

La Cala in the centre of St Helier is popular with office workers who get all dressed up on a Friday night and stand around looking at each other all night.

Mint and Platinum are a combined bar and nightclub on the Esplanade near the Weighbridge bus station, they're as naff as their names suggest. Weekends find them packed with 'lads' with their shirts outside their trousers and a lot of unattractive women.

Liquid is popular with teenagers and has occasional 'celebrity' appearances. The guy who was the third eiction on Big Brother 6 years ago 'type of celebrity' that is!

It's located on The Waterfront development an attempt by Jersey politicians to make St Helier as ugly as possible. Unusually for Jersey politicians they succeeded!